Ways to Get to Know Your Spouse Better
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When you first meet that special someone, you ask them all the questions. Trying to get to know them the best you can. When you decide to get married you ask even more deeper questions. By the time you get married, you live together, you have kids together…. Well now you must know everything about them right? Probably not…
Not only do we all change all the time, but some things you are probably just assuming from observation when in reality they feel something completely different than you ever expected.
Below you will find Conversation starters and ways to get to know each other better.
#1 Observing
Okay so observing your spouse is not always that accurate, but it gives you a great place to start! Watch them in the store, see what they do with their free time, how do they respond when you tell them about some plans you’ve made?
If you really want to remember, keep a list! A little note on your phone will do. Let’s face it, us woman have so many things to do and so many people to care for we often forget the things we are most determined to remember.
#2 Listening
Right along with watching with your eyes you need to listen with your ears. What is your spouse constantly talking about? Are they listening to audiobooks on youtube shows about anything specific? My husband is always looking up a new gun, a camper, or a truck. This tells me he is interested in those things. He could probably talk for hours about any of them and I do my best to give him my full attention. Not just because I love him, but also because I love to know what's going on in his mind.
#3 Engage
Part of observing and listening is getting involved. If you try to be a part of the conversations and learn from your spouse, you will be able to better understand what it is they really enjoy/dislike. This will also give you things to bond about, keep eachother happy, and find common ground. All of which equal a happier marriage!
#4 Ask questions
It can be so easy to just do “you”, but when you get married it should always be a “we”. So before you make a date, plan the whole weekend, book that vacation, or spend that extra money….. Ask your spouse! Are they okay with it? Does it sound fun? Do they have another idea to discuss?
I am definitely one to fall short on this all the time. My husband works A LOT. So it's simpler if I just take charge and honestly sometimes that is exactly what he wants/needs from me. However, it is always better to ask him, because sometimes he has some much better ideas than I thought of! Even though he is tired and doesn’t want to be a part of all of the decision making, doesn't mean he doesn’t want to be a part of ANY decisions. Seriously, getting your spouses input is a fantastic way to see what they like/dislike.
#5 Repeat
You need to understand that we are all changing. What we find fun, cool, or amusing, may actually disgust us in the future. We are forever changing, growing, and evolving into, hopefully, better and happier selves. With that being said, you need to be sure to always be on the lookout for new interests and dislikes from your spouse.
Conversation Starters:
Where do you see our lives in a year? 5 years?
Do you still love your job?
What's on your bucket list for the year?
Want me to help you with any projects?
Where would you love to go on vacation?
Did you ever imagine this would be our life? How did you think it would be? Is it better or worse?
What makes you smile?
What makes you feel the most loved?
Do you want more children?
What kind of grandparents do you think we will be?
What goals do you have for the both of us? Personal goals?
What bad habits do you think we need to work on this year?
Please feel free to message me more ideas you have!
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