Self Care for Beginners
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Parenting is HARD. Being a Mom is Hard. Add solo parenting and multiple children, it's even HARDER. We all struggle. Some more than others, but it doesn't have to be this way. Yes, there will always be ups and downs, BUT… we can enjoy it, live in the moment, and even embrace the good and the bad.
First and foremost it starts with taking care of yourself.
I know, I know you’ve heard it a thousand times, but how are you seriously supposed to take care of yourself when their is soooo much to do? Let’s get this straight, if you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom things can only go up from here right? It is going to be tough at first and it will take alot of willpower and self discipline, but let me tell you. IT IS WORTH IT! YOU CAN DO THIS!
Take it from me, who what doesn’t feel like that long ago was so depressed and felt so hopeless I couldn’t imagine ever enjoying my life. I wasn’t sure what fun was and quite honestly I did the bare minimum when it came to taking care of myself. But you have to. It’s too important to get to where you need to be
Where do you start?
Time with God
You know it’s true. You can try to tell yourself that you don’t need to go to church or you only need to go 1x a week, or that church is all you need. But deep down you know that none of those statements are true. You need time with Jesus. Every time I miss a sunday at church my entire week is thrown off and so is my kids. Miss a Wednesday too? Whew you better steer clear of the Brooks household! With traveling and missing church frequently we’ve had to find lots of ways to remember to keep Jesus at the center of our lives everyday. So start with church and reading your bible, even if it is only 1 verse a day. Then work your way up to a chapter a day. Get a Busy mom Bible and it’ll have 5, 10, and 15 minute mini studies throughout it!
Shower
That refreshing feeling after getting out of the shower can change your mood in a flash. Whether you choose to do it when you wake up to give you a boost or you choose to do it at night before going to bed, it is necessary. Personally I find it so much better to at least do my hair and get dressed appropriately as well. The messy mom bun and sweats just aren’t for me. It never fails if I’m a hot mess, someone will show up or need me to come over at the last minute. Which leaves me feeling low and embarrassed.
Sleep
Seems impossible right? Kids don’t sleep, bedtime is a nightmare, fights, too much to do, mind racing…etc.. Well I am here to tell you, it’s time to take the jump. Give in, let the kids watch a movie until they fall asleep, let them sleep on the couch or with a sibling, maybe even with you. Give yourself a bedtime and stick to it! Some people may need less, but I need a solid 8 hours of sleep to be even remotely human throughout the day. Have a newborn or pregnant? You may need a couple more hours since it is likely the 8 hours will not be consistent. So put the phone away, close your eyes and get some zzz's.
Almost just as important as getting enough sleep you want to be sure not to sleep too much either. Too much sleep can be detrimental to your energy levels and mood. So set an alarm and wake up to it. If this is new for you, try waking up 30 or even 15 minutes earlier than you’re used to. Moving it up every 2 days or so until you are where you need to be.
Mind racing and can’t sleep? Try these valerian root supplements. I take 1 for anxiety, 2 for mild insomnia, and 3 to really get some shut eye. One of the side effects is vivid dreams and not being able to fall back to sleep once you're up. For me this worked in my favor as I woke up about 7am every day and it forced me not to just put the pillow over my face and go back to sleep until the kids were up.
Eat Right
What I’ve found to be the best diet for energy and positive mood changes was an elimination diet. I cut out almost everything, especially processed and fatty foods. Then after a week or so I’d eat something I had eliminated and see how it made me feel. I’ll tell you what I can’t even eat fast food anymore and soda is a rare occurrence. I didn’t realize how much these things were affecting my body until I took them all out and slowly tried them. Some other things I do not tolerate well are eggs and sugar.
I have also found it is easier to add a good habit than to remove a bad one. So start with drinking so much water a day. Reward yourself when you do! I would drink 2 of my simple modern cups before lunch and I’d reward myself with a glass of tea each day. Honestly, after months I still do this.
Exercise
I am notorious for lack of exercise. Isn’t chasing 5 kids around and cleaning house enough? Apparently not, at least not for me. Even days I clean others' houses, my body feels like I’ve done a lot, but unless I deliberately work out, my mood is not where it should be. I have 2 bad knees so I find it really hard to stick with an exercise plan. Want to know what helps the most? My kids. Especially my 14 year old Tucker. He holds me accountable. We are both night owls so we like to workout together before bed. I’m told it's better to work out in the morning, but you have to do what works for you or you will never stick with it. I promise working out when its convenient is much better than not working out at all. So get a friend or a kid to hold you accountable and maybe even make it fun!
My favorite exercise is the Supernatural App on the Meta Quest. Having multiple children and mostly raising them on my own, gym memberships aren’t for me and trips to the park to work out usually end up in 2 or 3 kids crying, fighting, or acting up.
Once you can accomplish at least a few of these things above you should start feeling better and hopefully feel motivated again to find your place in the world. Don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor or therapist too if you are really down. I’m one for all things natural, but neglecting your mental health can not only affect you, but your sweet babies too. So don’t be afraid to get a jumpstart to happiness with meds if needed.
Do something you love
Being a mom to multiple children can really make you lose yourself. I’ve never been fond of those statements about being “more than just a mom”, but I’m starting to understand where they are coming from. I ABSOLUTELY love being a mom to many and wouldn’t change it for anything. However as my youngest gets older and more independent, I find myself enjoying being able to do things for me again. Drawing with my kids, making macrame projects, practicing photography, and blogging. I have more things I’d love to do, but even just slipping in a few things for me a few times a week, helps me to remember the joy in life and that being a mom isn’t all I am good at. Because before you were a mom you were great too and when the kids grow up and need you less, you are still great then.
YOU GOT THIS!
<3 Rachel
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